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Archive for the tag “humour”

Pharaoh Henry Tud’mosis VII…..?

henry-vii-effigy

Well, I confess that on a passing glimpse, I thought this was an Egyptian Pharaoh, but no! It’s Henry VII as you’ve never seen him before. Well, I hadn’t, anyway. The picture is identified as his funeral effigy before it was restored after damage in World War II.

I’m startled that anyone, even the Luftwaffe, dared to drop bombs in Henry’s vicinity. He wouldn’t take that lying down!

It’s from Rituals of Royalty: Prescription, Politics and Practice in English Coronation and Royal Funeral Rituals, c. 1327 to c. 1485

http://etheses.whiterose.ac.uk/2497/1/DX212138.pdf

Snowballing, medieval style….!

snowballing-medieval-style

An unlikely scene, surely? Would medieval ladies really go out snowballing in such décolleté gowns? Can’t believe it. One of them is even bending down to present a better target.

I would be far  better wrapped, and so would all of you, I’m sure. Or do I have some very daring minxes among my lady friends?

And another thing. Just what is the golden ‘tablet’ that floats above the bending gentleman? If someone has thrown it, the fun will be over.

Henry VII At Hogwarts

Fans of the Harry Potter films might have noted a familiar face looking out from the wall at Hogwarts–Dr Ashdown Hill certainly did, and duly mentioned it in a recent post on his FB site!

Yes, a  portrait of Henry VII is hanging in the wizarding school’s great hall, amidst those of more, um, fantastical characters including long-breaded enchanters and witches in  pointy hats.

Is Henry some evil wizard, good mates with the wicked Voldemort? Or just a sly  denizen of Slytherin?

 

poderickcruickshankhead

A little bit of digging in the Harry Potter fan world revealed this information:

http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Poderick_Cruickshank

 

hp

New Book Released About ‘Dickon’!

I and my friend, Susan Lamb, have just released our first (but hopefully not last) collaboration, ‘Dickon’s Diaries’ – a collection of anecdotes from our favourite king about his life in ‘Muddleham’ with Anne, his ‘quene’, and his ‘loyalle servaunt’, Lovell. It is based on the popular Facebook page, ‘Dickon for his Dames’, but is 95 percent new material and takes the form of a diary recounting humorous anecdotes and scrapes that he, Anne and Lovell (mainly Lovell) get into while living part in mediaeval times and yet interacting with modern technology.

Dickon is very popular with his ‘Dames’, who tend to swoon when in his presence and try their utmost to get closer to him. He finds some technology – his boxe of movyng pictures, YeBay and his boxe of coloured lights very helpful, but others are a problem, such as his ‘pingyng flashbox’ by which he sends texts to Lovell to remind him to fetch Jaffa Cakes from Tess-co.

If you would like to see some examples of the type of humour, ‘like’ our page, ‘Dickon for his Dames’ and take a look. Or ‘Look inside’ on Amazon by clicking on the picture below:

Cover of 'Dickon's Diaries'

 

DICKON’S TUDOR CHRISTMAS CAROL

‘Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone….a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster. The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek, stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue, and spoke out shrewdly in his grating voice. A frosty rime was on his head, and on his eyebrows, and his wiry chin. He carried his own low temperature always about with him; he iced his office in the dog-days, and didn’t thaw it one degree at Christmas.

 

A description of Henry Tudor, locked away in his counting house?

No,  of of course it’s Dickens’ Ebenezer Scrooge from the famous story ‘A Christmas Carol.’

This Christmas, though, if you are looking for a little spoof and parody set in the late 15thc, Henry takes the place of Dickens’ baddie in a humorous  short story called DICKON’S TUDOR CHRISTMAS CAROL, written by Hesper Huffam.

Waking from a sleep, Henry is confronted by an old friend…William Stanley,minus his head. a series of other ghosts follow–Richard III as the Ghost of Christmas Past, annoyed at the blackening of his reputation; the recently executed Perkin Warbeck who confounds and confuses Henry; and the sinister LARGE ghost of Christmas Future, who shows him the unhappy  results of his avarice and suspicion. Will Henry listen to the ghosts and change his ways?  Will he get Elizabeth of York decent shoes and tell Morton where to stick his precious Fork? Will Mummy Beaufort be pacified..and what about Henry’s pet, Groat the Monkey?

 

A bit of light harmless fun for a winter’s night in.

tudor

 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dickons-Tudor-Christmas-Hesper-Huffam-ebook/dp/B01N6D7HDK

Who or what is under the Esplanade in Rochester….?

rochester-esplanade

Here’s a new suggestion – that Richard’s crown might be under the Esplanade at Rochester. Well, the idea is dismissed because the English Civil War saw an end to the original crown jewels – but who is to say Richard’s crown was destroyed too? But, big but, why on earth would his crown be in Rochester in the first place? So, I guess that whatever they’ve found under the Esplanade is more likely to be the helicopter or Lord Lucan!

Memorial stone to mark Richard III’s visit

Bang on the nose….!

david_starkey3

I have just come upon the following couplet, concerning a historian’s mistakes:-

‘Others to some faint meaning make pretence
But (——–) never deviates into sense.’

Well, the original two-syllabled name fled from my mind, to be replaced by another of similar construction. Starkey! Yes, folks, a couplet entirely suited to him.

‘Others to some faint meaning make pretence
But Starkey never deviates into sense.’

A Loon strikes back!

 

 

The Halloween horror of Henry VII….

huge-henry-statue

The people of Pembroke are proud of Henry VII, and are raising money for an 8′ (rather unflattering) statue of him – it’s about as complimentary as poor old Richard’s armless statue at Middleham. But, unlike Richard, it is highly suitable for a Halloween shock!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-west-wales-37695578

Anyway, this 8′ giant prompted me to ponder how big a Halloween statue the downtrodden people of England would have contributed—of their own volition—to a similar acknowledgement of the first Tudor king. If Henry had put the screws on, it would be 20′ tall at least, looming over London like an evil spirit, casting its spooky shadow over everyone’s threadbare purse.

However, it we’re talking voluntary donations… Hmm. It has been suggested that perhaps a 2″ statue would result. My Yorkist imagination ran riot, of course, as witness the truly terrifying illustration below. Can you imagine anything more chilling….?

henry-the-gnome

(the original gnome picture is from Bakker.com)

King Richard seen driving around Gloucester….!

nissan-x-trail-riii

Here’s a laugh, at my expense. A few days ago, while waiting at traffic lights in Hucclecote, Gloucester, I saw (wait for it!) Richard III driving a Nissan X-Trail! It was one of those moments.And it was Gloucester, which seemed so appropriate. There he was, the hair, the face, the hat, and even a robe-collared coat. The illusion was very convincing indeed…for a split second. Then I realised ‘he’ was a ‘she’ anyway. If it had been a male driver, I’d have wondered if Richard and time-travel were not solely the preserve of fiction after all!

Well, at least it wasn’t a Courser. OK, no more car jokes.

Richard, as interpreted by Frank Spencer…!

Frank Spencer plays RIII

Just when I thought adaptations of the Bard’s Richard could not get any worse, I find this. OK, not Frank Spencer, just his tank top.

http://tinyurl.com/horbrj6

 

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