Leaks, thistles and crosses of all kinds….

No, I haven’t made a boo-boo, the subject line of this article from Inside Wales Sport does indeed say “leaks”. A friend has wondered if this means Wales is a land in dire need of plumbers!

This was a clear invitation to examine the rest of the article for further bloopers. I’ll start with England’s national emblem, the rose, being a reference to “….the Battle of Rosé between 1455 and 1485 between the House of Lancaster and the Civil War of York. They were symbols of red roses and white roses respectively….” Well, I think the author must have had a few too many glasses of the rosé! It was actually the Wars of the Roses, of course, between the House of Lancaster and the House of York, NOT the Civil War of York. For heaven’s sake, get it right. A little final editing might have helped.

However, what with the rosé, and a little later “Jacques VI Stuart”, I begin to twig that the article was penned by a Frenchman. Or at least someone whose first language isn’t English.

To continue: “…the Wales rugby team commonly known as ‘Leaked XV’. Because yes, Welsh chose Leek….” Oh, groan. Capital letters abound where they shouldn’t, and I do wonder what the Welsh rugby team can possibly be doing if it leaks everywhere!

And it seems “the three-leaf clover, or ‘Shamrock’ is expensive In the heart of the irish….” Expensive?

It also seems the Romans called Britain “Brittany”….nope, they called us Britain – variations according to the language used. Brittany may have been part of the deal at one time, but it was originally Little or Lesser Britain.

Then there’s Henry VII and his Tudor rose. Don’t get me started on that pseudo-Welshman. He used Welsh symbols to raise support in Wales, but once he’d got his bony backside on his stolen throne (stolen through treachery and murder) he ditched his Welsh connections with indecent haste. A true Welshman he wasn’t, he was a Class A, card-carrying louse who’d suck anyone dry in order to fill his personal coffers!

“St George has been the patron saint of England since the 13th century.” So says the article. No, St George wasn’t the patron saint of England in the 13th century. He was chosen in the 14th century by Edward III to replace St Edward the Confessor. The decision was made when the Order of the Garter was formed in 1348, and thus St George’s Day became the Order’s day of celebration. It still is.

from https://www.hellomagazine.com/royalty/2018061849529/what-is-royal-order-garter-ceremony-video/

Regarding the Union Jack, it seems that in 1801 “…We then added the british flag Saint’s queen…” What the heck is that? I won’t even try to decipher it.

Finally we have “….For the popular name ‘Union Jack’, This may be a reference to James I, the king, who originally created a common flag between the Empire of England and the Kingdom of Scotland….The word ‘jack’ can also be a naval word because the Royal Navy was the first major user of this flag. ‘Jack’ is the English word for naval flag….”

Have you ever come across a James nicknamed Jack in the UK? No, because the writer is again mixing up his French with his awful English. Jacques may be French for James, but it’s not on this side of La Manche. So we are exceedingly unlikely to give a French name to our national flag. Can you just imagine what Nelson would have thought? Hellfire, we’d all fall on our swords first! So I think it’s safe to say that yes, a jack is a naval flag. Or perhaps we should call it the Union Jim! As for the Empire of England….a neat trick for a single country.

And no, the article was published on 23rd March 2021, NOT 1st April! And no again, I’m not in the habit of mocking someone’s efforts to write in a language that doesn’t appear to be their mother tongue, especially as in this case they’ve succeeded more than I could in French. But I am mocking Inside Wales Sport for not applying at least a modicum of judicious editing!

“Cry ‘God for Harry, England, and Saint George!’” – Agincourt 1415

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